"When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships." - Andy Warhol

Friday, May 25, 2012

Characters, conversation, & coffee

I remember a Sex and the City episode, “Models and Mortals,” where Miranda goes to a dinner party with a date and his friends. The question that’s asked around the table is something along the lines of, which movie star – in his or her prime – would you want to be with?

For the purposes of this blog, I won’t focus on that question (in part because I’ll get too distracted thinking about Johnny Depp as he appeared in The Astronaut's Wife).

Instead, I’ll focus on this question: Which fictional character would you want to chat with over coffee?

For the record, I chose coffee because it’s not hard to safely sip and enjoy a latte – no matter whose company you’re in – but it is difficult to truly enjoy a good meal when you’re preoccupied with what could be in your teeth or on your face. And no good meal should be compromised by such distractions.

Here's my top 5 list (in no particular order) and a brief description of why I made the choices I did:


Miss Piggy

Wow. The pig can even pull off pearls!
Miss Piggy is fashionable, fresh, and I think we have a lot in common. She’s passionate and driven to get what she wants. She loves Kermit and she loves eating. She isn’t afraid to pursue the attention she requires to fulfill her needs.

(It could happen – she’s appeared on everything from Saturday Night Live to morning news talk shows – meeting me at Starbucks may not be that much of a stretch).

Jessica Simpson 

This one is tough – I don’t know where the line is drawn between the real Jessica Simpson and her TV persona, but from what I’ve seen, I think we’d hit it off.

She seems to be a genuine person who is sensitive to issues that resonate with the rest of us – relationships, weight, career successes and failures, pets, family, etc.

I don’t know how much we have in common, but I think she’d make me laugh and I think I could be a good listener.

Katniss Everdeen 

When I think about girl power, I think about Katniss Everdeen. I admire her for her ability to be self-sufficient and strong without losing her femininity.

I don’t know what we’d discuss over coffee per say, but I hope she’d bring her bow. I wouldn’t mind seeing an arrow (narrowly missing a barista and a travel mug display!) puncture a bag of Starbucks Tribute Blend, just because she can.

Carrie Bradshaw 

I know it’s cliché, but I want to be part of her inner circle. Or maybe I want to be Carrie Bradshaw. I’m not sure.

I admire Carrie's self-confidence and strong voice. And if we became friends, I’d never have to question where I stood with her – she prioritizes her friendships and tells it like it is. If you’re being selfish or unreasonable, she won’t brood over your behavior, she’ll just make a simple statement that’s direct (without being rude) to bring the error of your ways to your attention.

And once the air has cleared, she’ll no doubt be up for shopping, eating out, or cocktails.

Les Gold

Wonderfully bad reality TV, thy name is Hard Core Pawn. The only spoiler I’ll give you about the show is that it follows the day-to-day management of American Jewelry and Loan – a family-owned pawn shop in Detroit, Michigan.

Les runs the business with the support of his two kids, Seth and Ashley. He’s old-school tough but not heartless and just seems like a cool guy.

I have a feeling that he’d be more comfortable meeting at a diner than a mainstream Starbucks, but I’d be okay with that. I’d even be okay with meeting up with him in a dark alley in a bad area of town. As long as Les is by my side (and on my side!), I’d feel safe.


  1. Great post! After some thought, I would definitely want to have coffee with Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. She is witty and sarcastic and is clearly in need of a woman friend (remember the recent episode where Liz finds a friend who is exactly like her? It didn't work out very well). Plus, I'm dying to ask her this: when are you and Jack going to give it up and get together??!!!

  2. Lisa Scottoline. Every time I read her in the Sunday paper I swear she is writing about me.